Future Me

Relationships shape who we become. That can be a good thing in some cases, and in others…it’s a little more complicated. How can you tell the difference? If you become like the people you spend the most time with, are you prioritizing the right relationships? Pastor Jeremy DeWeerdt shares the practicals of pursuing healthy life-giving relationships that add value and make us better.

Notes 📓✏️:

Future Me – Pastor Jeremy DeWeerdt

Question: Who are the three closest people in your life?

Question: In what ways have they influenced your life?

Question: Have those three people made you a better person?

Relationships shape who we become!

Our greatest regrets usually involve relationships.

Relationships have the potential to enhance or undermine your faith.

Relationships either propel you or distract you from your goals in life.

I Corinthians 15:33 (NIV): “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

The friendships you presently have are a glimpse of who you are going to become.

Proverbs 27:17 (Msg): “You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.”

Every close relationship you have helps you form your identity.

What matters most is your SPIRITUAL identity.

Romans 1:12 (NCV)…”I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.”

Every close relationship you have has you learning something.

Proverbs 22:24-25 (NIV) “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”

The relationships you presently have in your life have invisible and powerful defaults.

Psalm 1:1-3 (ESV): “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season,

and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.”


1. Planted in God’s Word

2. Planted in God’s Church

How do you find the right kinds of close relationships?

1. Attempt to be the person you wish to have a relationship/friendship with someday.

2. Proactively pursue right relationships within the right environments.

Ephesians 2:21-22 (NIV) “In Christ the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in Him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit.”

C.S. Lewis – “The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”

3. Practice the kind of grace you wish to receive.

Allison Hudson, who is an Addiction and Recovery blogger once wrote…”Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.”

But today, I understand what it’s like to be saved by God’s grace, because that’s my story.

Thank God grace trumps karma.

Then again, there is no reason or logic to grace.

“I give grace because I need grace, and I have been given grace.”

I think about the many times that people have extended grace to me and the many times I have not returned the favor.

We stay close to God. We pause. We pray. We practice patience. And tolerance. And acceptance. And gratitude. And humility. We choose love.

In your relationships, do you extend the grace you wish to receive?

Discussion Questions 📝:

  1. What makes relationships so complicated and how can we set ourselves up to have healthy relationships?
  2. Where have you seen the people closest to you influence your life in good and bad ways?
  3. Knowing that our spiritual identity matters most, how can you make it a priority to be planted in God’s word and church?
  4. In your relationships, do you extend the grace you wish to receive?