This Is Us

This Is Us

Our lives are full of relationships – best friends, frenemies, spouses, exes, neighbors, co-workers – and those relationships can be complicated. So how do we have good ones? And get over bad ones?

During our series, “This is Us”, we’ll discover keys to cultivating strong and thriving relationships in every area of our lives.


Join A Life Group

We’re encouraging everyone to join a Life Group for this 5 week series! In Life Groups, we’ll dive deeper into the big ideas from this series.

Browse our available Life Groups

Week 1 - Real Love

Love Is A Verb General
Andy Stanley

Discussion Guide »

Love Is A Verb
Andy Stanley

We hear of the divorce rate and wonder: is it possible for two people to stay happy together forever? The only thing required for falling in love is a pulse, but it’s never been more difficult to stay in love. In this message, we’ll hear from Andy Stanley about what Jesus says is the foundation for enduring relationships.

Goal of this Week

Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is the hard part. This week we will talk about if it’s possible to stay in love and what the key is.

Conversation Starter

Think about a person you fell in love with. What made you fall in love?

Discussion Questions

  1. Why do you think there are so many matchmaking organizations in this country? Do you think it makes it easier or harder to fall in love?
  2. In John 13:34, Jesus identifies love as a verb, not a noun. What are some differences between feeling love and doing love?
  3. What does mutual submission look like in a romantic relationship? What can get in the way of that?

Closing Activity

Think about at least one practical way that you can practice making love a verb to someone this week. Identify who you want to love and one way you will take a step to proactively love them.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for your love for us. Thank you Jesus, for your ultimate example of submitting your life for those you loved, us. We ask that you would give us the grace and the strength to love those around us like You have loved us. We pray that as we make love a verb, we would experience more of Your love for us. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Right Person Myth Young Adult/Single
Andy Stanley

Discussion Guide »

The Right Person Myth
Andy Stanley

We were made for relationships, but successful relationships don’t happen accidentally. Often, culture teaches us if we marry the right person, everything will be all right. But that gets us into trouble. In this message, Andy Stanley gives us a list of behaviors that will help lead to successful relationships, and he asks us the important question: Are you who the person you’re looking for is looking for?

Goal of this Week

Are you the person the person you’re looking for is looking for? In this message, Andy Stanley breaks down the myth that says we are supposed to find the right person by challenging us to become the right person instead.

Conversation Starter

Think of current movies, music, or TV shows. What would you say are some current rules in our culture regarding love, sex, and dating?

Discussion Questions

  1. What is the right person myth? Do you agree that it is a myth?
  2. How have you seen this way of thinking play out in relationships?
  3. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. These are the characteristics that build successful relationships. Which characteristic is most difficult for you? Which do you value the most in others?

Closing Activity

Becoming the person the person you’re looking for is looking for takes hard work and real effort. But you don’t want to find yourself married and unprepared. What is one thing you can do this week to help yourself become the right person?

Closing Prayer

God, thank you that you not only created us for relationships, but that you want us to have successful and fulfilling relationships. Help us to let go of the right person myth and the search to find the right person. And as we take steps to become the right person, we ask that your love would be what guides us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources

Week 2 - Forgiveness

Forgiveness Married
Shawn Johnson

Discussion Guide »

Forgiveness
Shawn Johnson

For any marriage to be successful, it must consist of two forgivers. If we want to have a marriage that lasts, forgiveness must be the foundation. We will not be able to experience all that God has for us in life and in our marriage if we do not practice forgiveness.

Goal of this Week

This week we will discover the foundational characteristic of every successful marriage: forgiveness.

Conversation Starter

If you could go back and give yourself one piece of marriage advice on your wedding day, what would it be?

Discussion Questions

  1. We don’t have to learn how to withhold forgiveness from others. It seems to come naturally, why is that?
  2. Shawn said, “Not forgiving someone outside of your marriage will cause all sorts of problems inside of your marriage.” How has unforgiveness affected your marriage?
  3. Think of a time you have been forgiven by your spouse. What impact did that have on your marriage?

Closing Activity

Forgiveness is not easy but it is a choice that we can make every day. We can’t experience all that God has for us in our marriage until we let go of past hurts. What is a past hurt that you need to let go of today?

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, we thank you for the forgiveness you have poured out on us through your Son Jesus Christ. It is because of his love and forgiveness that we can forgive and love others. We pray that you would give us the grace we need to extend forgiveness to others and the strength we need to let go of past hurts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Peacemakers General
Craig Groeschel

Discussion Guide »

Peacemakers
Craig Groeschel

So many of our homes are not characterized by peace but rather by tension, strife, or conflict. Oftentimes we try to be the peacekeeper in our homes by ignoring issues or sweeping them under the rug, but God says blessed are the peacemakers, not peacekeepers. Today, Pastor Craig Groeschel talks about four characteristics of a peacemaker.

Goal of this Week

This week we are talking about what Jesus really means when he says blessed are the peacemakers.

Conversation Starter

Can you give an example of a time that you have had to be the peacekeeper?

Discussion Questions

  1. How is a peacekeeper different from a peacemaker?
  2. How do we tell the truth in love?
  3. What would your relationships look like if you confessed your sins and asked for forgiveness? What would that require from you to do that?
  4. Think of a time that someone has shown you forgiveness?

Closing Activity

Forgiveness is hard, but that is what Christ calls us to do as His followers. Relationships cannot experience connection and healing until we extend and receive forgiveness. Let’s break up into groups of two or three to pray for healing and restoration in any relationship that needs it.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, we thank you for the forgiveness you have poured out on us through your Son Jesus Christ. It is because of his love and forgiveness that we can forgive and love others. We pray that you would give us the grace we need to extend forgiveness to others and the strength we need to let go of past hurts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources

Week 3 - Honest Communication

Skills For Positive Communication In Marriage Married
Jimmy Evans

Discussion Guide »

Skills for Positive Communication in Marriage
Jimmy Evans

Communication is so important in relationships. You can’t know a person without communication. It’s how we understand the other person’s heart, how we talk through problems. It’s how we resolve issues and talk about needs. In marriage, the enemy is always trying to violate and cut the communication lines between spouses because he knows how powerful our communication is. In this message, Jimmy Evans debunks misconceptions about communication and gives us five standards of communication.

Goal of this Week

This week we will discuss the importance of communication in marriage.

Conversation Starter

Think of a great couple that you look up to and admire. What makes their marriage great?

Discussion Questions

  1. What is your daily communication like with your spouse?
  2. Jimmy said that you cannot communicate with a person who doesn’t care. What do you need from your spouse to know that they care?
  3. Truth without mercy is mean. Mercy without truth is meaningless. What does it look like to speak the truth with mercy?

Closing Activity

The power of life and death are in the mouth. Like Jimmy, sometimes we are not aware of the ways in which we are speaking to those closest to us. Take time now and throughout this week to reflect on your words and identify one way that you can move from death to life in your words.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for the marriages represented in this group. We pray that your blessing would be on each marriage represented. Thank you for our spouses. We ask for the grace to speak life over our marriages and spouse. Give us wisdom to see where we can bring life to our marriage through better communication. Help us to speak the truth with mercy and to know how to best communicate with each other. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Remote Controlled General
Andy Stanley

Discussion Guide »

Remote Controlled
Andy Stanley

The one thing that keeps us from celebrating others, admitting you were wrong, asking for help, or learning new things and causes you to feel good when others fail, lie about your past, or argue with others. So what is that one thing that leads to every other vice? We’re going to talk about what it is and how to kill it.

Goal of this Week

This week we are going to discuss the one sin that keeps us from meaningful relationships with God and others, pride.

Conversation Starter

Thinking about our culture, do we tend to reward pride or humility? How so?

Discussion Questions

  1. How does pride manifest in you?
  2. What does pride look like in you? Confidence? Intelligence? Sarcasm? Perfection? Something else?
  3. Andy says that the invitation to follow Jesus is an invitation to unfollow pride. How so?
  4. How does pride get in the way of communication? What do you need to do to have better communication?

Closing Activity

Read Philippians 2:5-8. What was Christ’s mindset? What are practical steps you can take this week to have the same mindset as Christ in your relationships with others?

Closing Prayer

God, forgive us for the times that pride has kept us for you and others. We confess that we have given pride the remote control of our lives. We want to follow your way of living Jesus. We need your help to kill the pride in our hearts and walk in humility before you and others. Thank you that your grace and love is enough for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources

Week 4 - Honor / Unity

Never Give Up Married
Craig Groeschel

Discussion Guide »

Never Give Up
Craig Groeschel

When we get married, the Bible says the two shall become one. But knowing the divorce rate in America, there’s a breakdown somewhere. The problem in our culture is that people don’t understand what marriage is. Oftentimes, people will go into marriage treating it like a contract. But marriage is a covenant, not contract.

Goal of this Week

This week we are discussing the importance of never giving up in our marriage.

Conversation Starter

Do you have a green thumb? Elaborate.

Discussion Questions

  1. Craig said that many people go into marriage believing it is a contract, when God designed it to be a covenant. How have you treated your marriage like a contract before?
  2. Where are you sowing in your relationship with your spouse? Are you happy with the results?
  3. Is God #1 and your spouse #2 in your life? If not, what needs to move?

Closing Activity

Your marriage is as good as you both decide it to be. Take a moment to talk and pray with your spouse about what you want your marriage to be.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank your for the gift of marriage. We want our marriages to be all that you have created them to be, God. Open our eyes to see how we can individually sow good seeds into our marriages to make it as good as you designed it to be. God help us see if we are putting anything before our spouse. We want to honor You, Lord in our marriages. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

It Is Good For A Man Not To Have Sexual Relations With A Woman General/Young Adult
Steven Furtick

Discussion Guide »

It Is Good For A Man Not To Have Sexual Relations With A Woman
Steven Furtick

Oftentimes, single people wish to be married and married people wish they were single. That’s because many people like the idea of a relationship without the hard work of one. If we look to other people to meet our needs and desires, we end up hurt and disappointed. In this message, Steven Furtick explains that although relationships are a gift, they are not the main thing that God wants to give us.

Goal of this Week

This week we are going to discuss the greatest gift that God gives that surpasses any relationship: His grace.

Conversation Starter

If you were in church on Sunday, what was your favorite thing Chad said?

Discussion Questions

  1. None of us believe that there shouldn’t be sexual standards, but we all want to be able to define what that standard is. What does God say the standard is? Why do you think God gives us that standard?
  2. Desire is meant to be a byproduct of relationships, not the goal. What can happen in relationships when desire is the goal of our relationships?
  3. Have you been more focused on the gift you want from God that you’re missing the grace God has given you?

Closing Activity

Whether you’re married or single, the real gift is not the marriage or the singleness. The greatest gift that God gives is grace. Where do you need grace in your life?

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you that you always give us just what we need for the season we are in. We pray that you would help us to see the gift of grace that you have given us today. If anyone is in a place that does not feel like a gift of grace, help us to see it as you do. Thank you, Jesus, that your grace is sufficient for us and you give it to us freely. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources

Week 5 - Fear / Insecurity

Power Down General
Andy Stanley

Discussion Guide »

Power Down
Andy Stanley

In his letter to the Ephesians, the apostle Paul drew from Jesus' use of power what is perhaps the most powerful relational teaching of all - an instruction that changes everything in family dynamics. It all comes down to asking a simple question: What can I do to help?

Goal of this Week

This week we will discuss how fear gets in the way of the most fulfilling kind of relationships.

Conversation Starter

Do you have any irrational fears?

Discussion Questions

  1. How has the tension between what’s real and ideal played out in your life and relationships?
  2. Give an example of a time someone went out of his or her way to help you. How did that make you feel?
  3. How can you leverage your time, power, or assets for your family? What would that do for the dynamic of your family?
  4. What gets in the way of mutual submission? How can you overcome that?

Closing Activity

Who is someone that you need to ask, “What can I do to help?” What can the group do to help you follow through with it?

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you that you created us for relationships and that you want us to have the best relationships possible. We want to honor you with our relationships and often that looks like laying ourselves down like you did for us. Give us eyes to see how we can submit to those around us this week and give us the courage to overcome the fear to do so. We need your grace to love and serve like you serve us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources