In My Feelings

Frustrated. Confused. Happy. Elated. Depressed. Feelings can lead us in many different directions when it comes to our relationships, but what if it doesn’t have to be that way? In this series, we’ll discover how to strengthen the relationships in your life!

Life Group Videos

We’re encouraging everyone to join a Life Group for this series! In Life Groups, we’ll use the videos and discussion questions below to dive deeper into the big ideas we discuss during our Weekend Experience.

Week 1 - Nothing

Healthy relationships don’t happen by accident. They require intentionality, care and regular maintenance. But sometimes we don’t want to make the effort. As long as it’s not broken, do we really need to talk about it?

Week 1 – Nothing

  1. Wow, that teaching was full of a lot of truth. What are some of the things Pastor Andy said that stood out to you?
  2. When you run into conflict in a relationship, is your tendency to leave, try to win, conform, or compromise? How has that worked in the past?
  3. Read Ephesians 5:1–2. Does the idea of “giving yourself up” to another person—without the expectation that they will fulfill your hopes, dreams, and desires—seem reasonable? Why or why not?
  4. During the message Andy said, “Christianity isn’t about getting what we deserve or giving to others what they deserve. It’s about getting what we don’t deserve and doing for others what was done for us. That reduces relationships to a submission competition—a race to the back of the line.” Does that sound like a realistic approach to relationships? Why or why not?
  5. As we close today, take some time this week to think about the two questions Andy posed at the end of his teaching: What’s in your box? Are you expecting someone else to carry it around for you?

Week 2 - It’s Mutual

We all enter relationships with hopes, dreams, and desires which create expectations. But when you put those expectations on others, it turns those relationships into a debt/debtor relationship. So, how do you keep your hopes, dreams, and desires from becoming expectations?

Week 2 – It’s Mutual

  1. Once again, a thought-provoking teaching from Pastor Andy Stanley. Any initial thoughts on today’s talk? What stood out to you?
  2. Can you relate to feeling like you’re in a tug of war in any of your relationships?
  3. We’ve learned that mutual submission is what makes relationships work. Is there an area of a significant relationship in your life where you know you need to go first and “drop the rope?”
  4. Andy talked about how “less self” relationships are the richest relationships. Do you agree or disagree? In what ways can you begin to walk out “less self?”
  5. Read John. 13:34. What are some practical ways you can begin to love others the way Christ has loved you?

Week 3 - Sometimes You Have to Throw Things

As long as you think others owe you, your relationships will be all about keeping score, which actually destroys love. But what are we supposed to do about our hopes, dreams, and desires?

Week 3 – Sometimes You Have to Throw Things

  1. Have you ever tried to deal with your unmet expectations by ignoring them, staying busy, or finding someone else? If so, how has that worked out for you?
  2. Read 1 Peter 5:5–7. Is there an area of your relationship where you need to ask, “What would a humble person do?” What are some things you can do to move to the back of the line in that area?
  3. Read Psalm 5:12–23. Are you currently holding back with God by praying polite prayers? What would it look like for you to get on your knees and be unfiltered when you take your concerns to your heavenly Father?
  4. What can you do this week to “cast your anxiety” on God? How can this group support you?

Week 4 - It’s A Choice

Healthy individuals decide they owe others everything but are owed nothing in return, but that requires great heart effort. So, what is the most important choice we can make in order to see our efforts create healthy and fulfilling relationships?

Week 4 – It’s A Choice

  1. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “I can let go almost immediately” and 10 being “it takes a lot of time and effort,” how difficult is it for you to let go of a grudge? How has that tendency affected your relationships, for good and bad?
  2. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Which of these characteristics of love need to be grown in your relationships?
  3. Andy said that healthy people find the most generous explanation for each other’s behavior and believe it. Does that sound reasonable to you? Why or why not?
  4. In what ways might your history, fears, or insecurities be obstacles to assuming the best about others? What would it take to overcome those obstacles?
  5. What is one thing you can do this week to choose trust?